It’s official, I’m a bad parent. I took my kids to see 300 and whenever a limb was severed and/or blood sprayed, we pumped our fists and declared it, as a family, awesome.
My oldest enjoyed these parts the most, telling me, “Dad, I liked it when they cut off their legs and stuff.” My youngest agreed, stating what I believe should be a creed for people who make war movies everywhere: “No prisoners, no mercy, no storyline. Just fight! fight! Fight! I don’t like the talking parts.”
It makes a father proud. Director Zack Snider got his start biting on George Romero, piloting a stylish, if less substantial, remake of Dawn of the Dead. Now, Snider gets a crack at Robert Rodriguez, doing 300 as Sin City meets Clash of the Titans, using a wider color palate and more slo-mo than a teenager with his first porn DVD.
It’s an exhilarating, if not always rewarding experience. First, the good: the heavily-stylized visuals are gorgeous, hypnotic, and sometimes terrifying. Also, the battle sequences are pure poetry in brutality, using slow motion and digital blood, reveling in the dance of the warriors rather than using real-time to show the horror and confusion of war.
Now the bad: the dialogue is basically laughable, but who watches a movie like this for relationships or long meaningful talks? The characters also spend the majority of the movie in red Speedos and capes and nothing else (ever heard of armor?). Also, one portion of the score could’ve been written by the remaining members of the Drowning Pool (U.S. Marines-type commercial, chugging guitar, guys in Speedos walking in slo-mo). Finally, the villains are extremely caricature-ish, belying the film’s comic book origins.
Overall, however, chalk this up as a rewarding popcorn experience.
A-
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