Stupid Idea

This entry was posted by owl and bear staff on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 5:52 pm.

I was a little shocked to see that the airlines will pay about $20,000,000,000 more than usual for oil this year (about 4x the industry’s total earnings in 1999, it’s most profitable year to date), but I was even more surprised when I got this email, called “Help US fight skyrocketing oil prices,” asking for my assistance with the cause:

Dear US Airways customer…US Airways and other carriers in partnership with the Air Transport Association (ATA) are joining a broad coalition of consumer and industry groups calling upon Congress to take swift action to reign in irresponsible oil speculators…The airline industry fully supports maximum efforts to increase domestic production of oil, alternative energy sources and conservation. But there is also a short term problem which has significantly impacted the price of oil…Take action now

Not only does this imply that as their customer, I too must “support maximum efforts to increase domestic production of oil,” (like drilling off our coasts and in ANWR) but it’s also downright insulting for them to even ask a favor of me. Here’s what I wrote back:

The airlines are constantly finding new ways to shit upon consumers and now you want us to do something for you? I assume this is a joke.

Why not just make my Dividend Miles harder to use, charge more for every checked bag, and $10 for a 6 ounce cup of Coke? Maybe you could just increase the ticket cancellation fee to $500, or hire chimpanzees instead of flight attendants? Better yet, hire them as your CEOs.

At the bottom of their email, it says:

You have received this message because you subscribed to “News and Offers…”

This might qualify as news (barely), but it sure as hell doesn’t qualify as an offer. The airlines haven’t offered any real deals in years. I could probably get farther on a paper airplane than the thousands of Dividend Miles that I’ve accrued.