Debate: Palin Wins, Gets Something in Eye; Biden Buys Own Rape Kit, Showers With Clothes On

This entry was posted by owl and bear staff on Friday, October 3rd, 2008 at 7:00 am.

Sarah Palin won last night’s debate.

In an article prepared before the standoff between Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin, FoxNews writer Andrea Tantaros said “Palin won because she exceeded expectations and connected with the American people on a personal level.” According to Tantaros, the “lazarus in lipstick” unearthed the “half-rotting” corpse of McCain’s campaign by unlocking her lazy lid and “speed-winking” to the “finish line.”

Palin put her folksiness on display Thursday to demonstrate just how colloquialisms can pass for substance. Additionally, her incessant winking, while annoying many, made others feel good about themselves. “It’s like she’s winking to me, not at me,” one Arizona debate-watcher said. “She may look funny in the pictures, but to me it seems innocent…her new baby really looks like her when she’s winking, too.”

Ruben Navarrette Jr., member of the editorial board of the San Diego Union-Tribune, said that Palin did better than expected, so she’s the automatic winner. “We all expected Joe Biden to be coherent and well-versed on political and socioeconomic issues. Palin didn’t fail abysmally, which some expected, so she gets a heckuva lot of bonus points for that.” He added, “Not failing miserably is how I’ve gotten so far in my career at the Trib, and golly gosh, that’s how I pick my civil servants. Plus, I can’t say no when a hot chick winks at me.”