Debate Analysis: John McCain Ahead in New “Angry Guy” Poll

This entry was posted by owl and bear staff on Wednesday, October 15th, 2008 at 9:27 pm.

After tonight’s high-stakes, gloves-off, barb-trading, jab throwing, no holds barred, buzzword-and-diet-pills-infused face-off between Barack Obama and John McCain, Owl&Bear writers, chronically interested in fences, other sides of fences, and people who uncomfortably perch on fences, sat down with some swing voters. One such swinger, Joe P., no that’s too obvious, let’s call him J. Plumber, had no trouble giving his opinion:

If I agreed with McCain’s Policies, ignored his age, had never heard anything about his running mate, and Obama wasn’t running, I might consider voting for McCain.

Still on the fence? See for yourself below. If not, this probably isn’t worth your time—especially if you hate spitting beverages at your computer screen.

8:26 PM

Harry: i know i’m jumping the gun a little
Ed: that’s how we got into Iraq

8:28 PM

Harry: this is a no-pressure chat
Chris: you’re always so high-pressure about the no-pressure nature of your chats, harry

8:36 PM

Harry: Check out this shameless Republican pandering to Philadelphia fence-sitters: Obama takes heat for delaying World Series game. it’s almost like an onion article: “The Republican National Committee took aim at Barack Obama Wednesday over the Illinois senator’s half-hour ad buy that will delay the start of a World Series game by 18 minutes…It’s unfortunate that the World Series’ first pitch is being delayed for Obama’s political pitch,” RNC spokesman Alex Conant said. “Not only is Obama putting politics before principle, he’s putting it before our national pastime.”
Harry: it’s “unfortunate” because Obama gets to have a word in to all the Pennsylvanians who are skipping the debate to watch the game, that’s why it’s unfortunate
Chris: but this election has gone a long way to blur the line between parody and reality
Harry: yea

8:58 PM

Ed: ok. so now we have had 1) debate style debate, 2) town hall style, and…3) deli style debate? or maybe mccain will just go around on all fours giving blow jobs
Chris: if mccain’s been reading the polls, itll probably end up being animal style

9:01 PM

Harry: only this will be owl & bear style
Ed: owl and bear got no style

9:02 PM

Ed: jesus. the bags under Mac’s eyes could double as hammocks
Chris: in his defense, there is a testicle in each one
Ed: will mccain say obama is a terrorist to his face?

9:03 PM

Ed: what the hell is mccain writing?
Harry: he’s drawing a picture of obama in a turban for illustration
Ed: ohhh
Ed: maybe they are gonna play Pictionary

9:04 PM

Harry: goddammit. mccain always gets to drop the so and so’s in the hospital card
Chris: yeah, but at least this ones a republican
Ed: at every debate he has people scour the hospitals for sick people to mention
Chris: mccain has revamped his style. he’s been schooled
Ed: worse comes to worse, he starts mentioning sick dogs and cats
Harry: “I am opposed to puppy mills.”

9:05 PM

Harry: did you guys know that obama was BLACK?
Chris: he was?
Ed: i wish i understood his cryptic blinking more, cause he’s doing it a lot
Harry: cataracts dude
Ed: u see mccain’s hand shaking?
Harry: he probably lifted some of Cindy’s diet pills

9:08 PM

Ed: mccain is telling Obama’s Joe Plumber story!!!! jesus christ
Chris: so now mccain suddenly cares about the middle class

Ed: obama’s rebuttal should be : “john mccain is stalking my constituents. the secret service has been notified.”
Harry: McCain: “Joe, if elected President, I will  keep your taxes the same. But only yours.”
Ed: mccains is writing the score, thats what he’s doing

9:10 PM

Harry: by the way, i think that Joe Plumber is Joe Strummer’s brother
Ed: wow, mccain is being a straight dick to obama.
Chris: he’s on the attack. he’s got that creepy desperate smile
Ed: yes he does

9:11 PM

Harry: Joe Plumber Cousin of Joe Sixpack. Second cousin to Joe Twelvepack. Half brother to Tupac.
Ed: survivor of a failed abortion

9:12 PM
Chris: shut up mccain
Ed: seriously. mccain cutting in with jokes is just rude. he looks immature
Chris: though obama is pivoting a bit

9:13 PM

Harry: will this actually going to be a debate? the answer at 10:30.
Chris: mccain has had way too much coffee today
Ed: or coke
Chris: he’s trying to counter the near-death look he usually as
Ed: u can’t give coke to people over 70
Chris: you can if its medicinal coke

9:14 PM

Ed: seriously, what is mccain writing?

9:15 PM

Chris: scheifer is the first moderator to take them to task
Harry: scheifer is physically closer than the other mods. there is always the looming threat that he could strangle one of them
Ed: wish he would
Ed: maybe he has a Taser™ hidden just in case

9:16 PM

Harry: McCain: “i just want to get back to home ownership” going back to old questions is the most annoying part of these debates. at least scheifer says “the question is what are you going to cut?”
Ed: i’m liking scheifer
Chris: McCain: I’d use a “hatchet and then id get out a scalpel”?
Harry: I’m not sure that a scalpel is much good if you perform surgery with a hatchet first.
Chris: i can’t imagine how close to last in his class he wouldve been in med school
Harry: “when i perform vivisection, like on the living, breathing American economy, i use a hatchet, then a scalpel”

9:18 PM

Ed: what mccain just said about home value is completely wrong
Chris: is Mac gonna talk about the projector again

9:19 PM

Chris: yup, there it is. mccains points of contention are so weak. joe the plumber and the overhead projector? thats all you got?

9:20 PM

Ed: i wish obama would’ve laid the earmark thing out even better, but at least he said it
Harry: mccain is swinging

9:21 PM

Harry: McCain: “If you want to run against Bush, you should’ve run four years ago.”
Chris: ha, only one of them ran against bush and lost
Harry: “i can balance the budget by eliminating the budget”

9:22 PM

Ed: I bet McCain is pissed. He probably lost a couple million this week. he’s gonna be struggling to pay the mortgage on at least a couple houses
Harry: obama looks pissed
Chris: mccain is unusually animated tonight
Harry: yea he is
Ed: coke, im telling u

9:23 PM

Chris: “Even Fox news disputes it”
Harry: “Even Fox News disputes Sen. McCain’s claim”
Harry: obama is staying cool. good.

9:24 PM

Chris: 8 more years?
Chris: everyone knows McCain won’t be around that long
Harry: good job, Obama, commending mccain for coming out against torture, in the face of McCain’s antagonism. while simultaneously expressing his view that torture is wrong. an important point made well.

9:25 PM

Ed: sheifer is certainly using a hatchet
Harry: yea he is
Ed: i think he may smack someone
Harry: maybe he’s trying to actually foster a discussion

9:25 PM

Chris: mccain’s really trying to rattle obama
Ed: OHHHHHHHHH. Negative campaigning!
Chris: wow
Ed: come one “terrorist”
Harry: McCain says “this has been a tough campaign” as if he knows it’s over

9:26 PM

Andrew has joined

Harry: ohhh look who arrived!
Andy: did i miss the part where the guy didn’t answer the question and then got all ad hominem on the other guy?

9:27 PM

Chris: ugh. Lewis didn’t say McCain was “associated” with wallace and segregation
Chris: Lewis said McCain’s campaigning reminded him of Wallace’s

9:28 PM

Andy: this desk setup is nice. mccain can pull his Rascal™ right up to it

9:29 PM

Chris: there you go obama. dont let mccain freak you out.
Ed: this is not obama’s best answer
Chris: i like it; a bit redundant though
Ed: i dunno
Ed: McCain criticizes Obama for attacking him on policy??? an attack ad on policy is COMPLETELY different from an ad playing to peoples’ fears

9:31 PM

Harry: I agree with McCain. It’s dishonest of Obama to stick to the issues in his commercials.

9:32 PM

Ed: did mccain just sigh
Andy: i think he was chuckling over the “tit for tat” phrase
Harry: mccain really needs to stop interrupting, he sounds like a desperate loser

9:33 PM

Harry: Uh oh, “I’m proud of the people that come to our rallies”
Chris: we’re talking about the psychos in your audience, and how you put up with them
Harry: mccain “I dislike t-shirts”
Harry: “and i take aside everyone in my audience who shouts “kill him,” I personally scold each and every person.”

9:35 PM

Ed: and rape their children
Ed: lets see that comment make it on your site tomorrow
Chris: i like how obama refuses to repudiate the Wallace comparison
Harry: me too. why should he repudiate it?

9:36 PM

Ed: its not his to take back
Harry: what lewis said is not untrue.
Harry: it’s funny how McCain said that Lewis’ comments stopped him in his tracks. Well they should have. Yet McCain still didn’t immediately stop using the Obama terrorist implication.
Chris: “acorn ‘on the verge’ of ruining the election”
Ed: wow
Chris: only if mccain loses, of course
Ed: where was acorn in 2000?  wish they were around then
Harry: ha yea exactly.
Harry: Ed, are you wishing that Acorn stooges would’ve changed your vote in 2004 from Bush to Kerry?

9:37 PM

Chris: if mccain wants to play the guilty by association card, obama should bring up the keating five
Ed: i did a little reading on the keating 5. It should be brought up
Harry: oh shit, the Chicago Trib pals around with terrorists! There goes Illinois for Obama.

9:38 PM

Harry: dick lugar shows his “head!”

9:39 PM

Chris: I dont like how mccain is keeping obama on the defensive
Harry: yea, he’s like Paul’s grampa in Hard Day’s Night
Chris: he’s on the ropes
Harry: dare i say, cheney like
Ed: mccain is just harping: “my campaign is about getting this economy back on track…and he’s a terrorist”

9:42 PM

Harry: At least Mac didn’t say Palin’s a maverick.
Ed: SHE’S A GODDAM IDIOT
Harry: I don’t expect to hear that word tonight.
Andy: maybe “rapscallion” instead
Harry: I like scallions.
Andy: McCain calls Palin his “partner”? that sounds gay
Harry: pander pander pander to disabled parents. Is that your ammo now, McCain?

9:44 PM

Harry: did McCain really just confuse Autism and Down’s Syndrome?
Chris: Palin understands autism is on the rise now that she gave birth to a Down’s Syndrome kid?
Ed: because this campaign has now become about energy policy and retarded kids
Chris: Prior to giving birth to Trig, she supported taking a hatchet to special needs kids.
Ed: the federal govt is gonna fix retarded kids. i don’t think i want [retarded] kids

9:47 PM

Harry: for the first time, i think i’ll be interested to hear some of the post-debate punditry, to see how mccain’s negativity plays in the quote unquote win/loss
Andy: “let’s get to new topic? hard candies. what’s your favorite? I like Werther’s”

9:48 PM

Ed: in 4 years we are gonna rid ourselves of foreign oil
Chris: “as extreme environmentalists say, ‘nuclear has to be safe’”
Harry: hahahaha, screw those jerks who don’t want to drink pure radiation
Ed: how much do u think McCain understands about wind energy?
Andy: i bet he farts a lot!
Harry: he’s going broke for wind power

9:49 PM

Harry: mccain: “nuclear power is easy. an enterprising teenager in Michigan did it in his shed!”

9:51 PM

Chris: obama conveys his intelligence well
Ed: mccain conveys buzz words well

9:52 PM

Harry: McCain: we need to drill NOW if we want to spend $27.91 per gallon in 2020, and not $27.98.
Andy: “look offshore drilling does not hurt the environment. it only ruins the ocean. when’s the last time you saw a human living underwater?”

9:53 PM

Chris: sarah palin’s running mate is criticizing obama on lack of travel???
Harry: “having been” is really important to Americans
Harry: McCain: “Oh, you’ve never been? Cancun is Amazing.”

9:54 PM

Harry: it’s funny how obama wears the flag pin
Andy: i’m surprised it’s not upside down
Harry: mccain’s is pin-side-out that’s why you can’t see it—because he’s trying needle obama

9:56 PM

Ed: what is mccain talking about
Harry: this herbert hoover crap always makes me tune out
Chris: scheifer keeps letting mccain have the last word
Harry: someone should’ve criticized scheifer for being biased toward mccain for being old & white
Chris: seriously
Harry: whitey
Ed: i hate white people. for real
Harry: i hate real people
Harry: which is why I’m voting for one of the fake Sarah Palins

9:57 PM

Chris: obama is being specific and knowledgeable, while mccain is just tossing out half-truths and grinning like a pederast

9:59 PM

Harry: way to bring up obesity, mccain, you just lost the Missouri vote

Harry: here’s to a federal physical fitness plan modeled after Chairman Mao’s!!!
Ed: Breaking News: the federal government will make u lose weight

10:00 PM

Ed: Wow, he segued from talking about obese people to Joe Plumber. Coincidence?
Harry: obama should say “joe mama”
Ed: john mccain is gonna caulk your crack right up

10:01 PM

Harry: mccain in response to fine: old man voice, “zero?”
Chris: ha, he looked so sad
Andy: “zero? that’s pretty good. i can support that.”
Harry: starting to feel bad for mccain again

10:02 PM

Ed: u should vote for mccain out of pity. thats why his wife sleeps next to (not with) him
Harry: hah, old chicken neck cindy mccain
Harry: But yeah, the pity vote is definitely underappreciated.
Ed: she’s not old, she has botox power

10:03 PM

Chris: this must be so surreal for the real Joe the Plumber
Ed: seriously. i so wish they had an interview with him after this
Harry: I GUARANTEE there are people out there trying to find Joe Plumber, right now, to comment on teevee.
Harry: he’s going to so annoyed to be getting all these calls at 10PM. He’s going to vote Libertarian.

10:04 PM

Chris: McCain: “I offer a hell of your own choosing, rather than a government endorsed paradise”
Ed: mccain is gonna bring up the current budget deficit? seriously?
Harry: whose finger was that on the screen?

10:06 PM

Harry: mccain’s plan is supported by Cato Institute. that should be a BIG warning sign
Andy: if Cato Kaelin likes it, i don’t see what could be wrong with it
Harry: Wow, Kato Kaelin!!

10:08 PM

Ed: Did you guys know the US Senate was gonna blow up a couple years ago? we gotta tell people. John McCain stopped the blowing up of the US Senate

10:09 PM

Ed: check the Drudge poll
Harry: ah yea, not interested. how can you even judge the debate before it’s over?
Harry: what if mccain literally shoots himself? i would call that a loss.
Ed: obviously drudge readers already know who won

10:11 PM

Chris: mccain shouldn’t try going toe to toe with lawyer Obama on legal matters
Ed: a freaking Constitutional Law Prof

10:12 PM

Harry: Nobody cares about this shit that MCCain’s saying about Obama voting “present”
Harry: nobody gives a shit OR knows anything about legislative procedural matters. It’s a wasted point.

10:13 PM

Ed: HERE is where obama blows me away
Ed: can u imagine how many laws obama saw in his IL tenure? and he can remember this. amazing

10:15 PM
Chris: uh oh, mccain is getting antsy. i am too

10:16 PM

Harry: cindy and i are adopted parents
Harry: “there’s a point where even Viagra doesn’t work anymore”
Harry: we were forced into adoption, but fortunately, we were able to get a white one

10:17 PM

Harry: a twitter user just said that someone should do a McCain/Dramatic Squirrel mashup

10:18 PM

Chris: education is the civil rights issue of the 21st century?
Ed: john mccain is gonna fire bad teachers
Harry: i think mccain is about to get fired himself

10:20 PM

Chris: “you will find that some schools get the most money per student”
Andy: “throwing money at the problem is not the solution”? is he talking about the economy now?

10:21 PM

Harry: i think he’s just talking about throwing money, a la scrooge mcduck
Andy: dammit! i was gonna bring up scrooge mcduck
Andy: more like scrooge mccain
Harry: 9877 words per minute
Andy: take that!

10:23 PM

Harry: chatting the debate really makes it hard for me to concentrate on the actual debate.  like john mccain, i think it’s best if i only do one thing at a time
Harry: or maybe even .7 things at a time
Chris: ha, McCain didn’t remember Michelle’s name
Harry: “your black mare of a wife, what’s her name again?”

10:24 PM

Andy: his blood pressure is rising! i feel a stroke a’brewin’
Ed: no child left behind had “some issues?” really?
Harry: obama’s education  policy is written by terrorists. which is why he wouldn’t throw money at the problem, he’d throw molotov cocktails
Andy: he wants to turn our schools into madrassas
Harry: mccain is a tosser.

10:25 PM

Harry: McCain: “precious children…we wants them! we needs them!”
Andy: british tosser or american?
Ed: BREAKING NEWS: JOHN MCCAIN WILL CURE AUTISM
Harry: must cure autism must cure autism must cure autism must cure autism, ten minutes to pundits ten minutes to pundits, naah naaaaah naaaaaah, hits self

10:26 PM

Harry: McCain just seems argumentative, not substantive, there i said it!
Harry: our stupid readers aren’t going to know what those words mean
but i said it anyway

10:27 PM

Chris: mccain’s been writing on the same square inch of that piece of paper all night
Ed: he seems like a woman having her period

10:27 PM

Harry: snort? mccain just snorted in sarcasm.
Chris: a fine finish
Harry: Tomorrow’s headline:  “mccain closes with a snort”
Ed: McCain is using the word steward a lot
Harry: Ugh. Like when Bush called himself a “good environmental steward” in one of the 2004 debates.

10:29 PM

Chris: “a long line of mccains”
Chris: “how many obamas have there been??? zero!”
Harry: “zero?” old man voice

10:30 PM

Harry: they shook hands!!!!!! it’s going to take a while for mac to wash that off

10:31 PM

Ed: its funny. i want obama to win, but so much of what he says i feel is bullshit. BECAUSE i don’t think govt will ever do it
Harry: Obama’s too black for my blood. My blood is only 1/4 black.
Chris: yeah but its like, which candidate would you rather have acheive 5% of their promises
Ed: that was an odd handshake
Ed: mccain seemed to have a seizure when he shook his hand
Chris: he’s making it an emphatic point to shake all the hands this time
Chris: McCain: “good job! good job!” so patronizing
Harry: good job, good job, i fuking hate you, good job
Andy: maybe even pat an ass or two for good measure

10:32 PM

Harry: McCain: “shit, obama kissed his wife, i better do that too!”
Harry: mccain tumbles down stairs
Ed: mccains wife just looks insane. there, i said it
Ed: i think she might have multiple personalities
Chris: now the lame part where they compete for bragging rights about who spoke to more audience members afterward

10:33 PM

Harry: andy, your final remark?
Harry: coin tosser? chris, your final remark? is andy coin tosser?

10:34 PM

Chris: if you mean coin in the British sense, which is anglo for wiener
Andy: in ‘Merica it means i have a great predilection for wishin’ wells
Harry: predilection seems like it should have an apostrophe after it like “wishin’”

10:36 PM

Chris: mccain did pretty well tonight, ill give him that. too bad he was so sneeringly condescending the whole time
Harry: mccain definitely loses points for being excessively assholey
Andy: yeah, he’s cranky when he makes in his adult diaper

10:37 PM

Chris: ah so thats why he looked taller in his chair by the end

10:38 PM

Andy: peace be with you, Owl&Bear readers