The Curious Case of Jay Leno
When considering whether ancient aliens landed on Earth thousands of years ago and got civilization boost started here, you’re bound to create a few sentences ending with question marks. This is precisely what happened to Erich von Daniken when he wrote Chariots of the Gods, a book that reimagines Earth’s ancient origins. Among others, von Daniken poses the following questions: “Was God an astronaut?”; “What connection have mummies with our theory of space travelers in the remote past?”; “Will hospitals in the year 2100 be spare-part stores for defective men?”; and “Ought we not ask such questions?”
With more than two hundred question marks in the slim book, von Daniken leaves the reader clamoring for answers. But you have to appreciate the fact that von Daniken’s willing to ask the questions everyone else is perhaps too afraid to.
It’s with this inquisitive spirit that we consider Jay Leno’s unprecedented return to The Tonight Show. There are lots of questions, to be sure, but let’s start with what we do know: airwaves are soon to be The Jay Leno Show-free and new episodes of The Tonight Show will begin airing March 1, with Leno as the permanent guest host of the show, which has no permanent host. Now for the questions. (more…)
The Judgment of Conan O’Brien
In the final moments of Friday’s The Tonight Show, the now former host, Conan O’Brien, grabbed an ax (that’s slang for guitar) and joined The Max Weinberg 7 to perform “Freebird,” which also included one of the dudes from ZZ Top (the long-bearded guy), Ben Harper, Beck, and Will Ferrell on lead vocals. The spectacle turned an otherwise melancholy moment into something amusing (the segment, along with the rest of O’Brien’s final episode at the helm, can currently be viewed, with limited commercial interruption, at Hulu). The supergroup’s competencies notwithstanding, there were two remarkable things about the performance. First, O’Brien’s ability to shred (that’s slang for play ax); and second, his alternating expressions of joy, sadness, and, more interestingly, relief.
He’s been through a lot (frankly, we all have). O’Brien was having fun jamming, for sure, but by the end it was like watching someone who, after coming to terms with the fact that there’s nothing more the doctors can do for him, happily dies in his sleep while dreaming and, once dead, ascends to heaven. Or something to that effect. (more…)
Halloweening It Without Jeopardizing Your Indie Cred (An O&B How-To)
Call it Halloween, call it the day after Devil’s Night (if you’re a fan of The Crow), call it the day before All Saints Day (that’s for all you Catholics out there), or just call it a pain in the ass. Like it or not, it’s time to dress up. Whether fun or a chore, it’s more important than it seems, and wearing the wrong costume can be disastrous. The right costume, however, will not only get you through the night unscathed, but it could also do wonders for upping your rep. Most important, not wearing a costume is not really an option. You’ll be viewed as Halloween’s equivalent to Scrooge. Going to a Halloween party sans costume is like not dancing to a band that moves you. Don’t be a dick. Wear a costume. Dance. (more…)
Obama Wins I’m-Not-George-W.-Bush Prize
President Obama, the liberal media announced this morning, has won the Nobel Peace Prize®.
The third sitting president to receive the award, Obama is honored by the bestowal and, frankly, a little relieved. “I am honored by the bestowal and, frankly, a little relieved. Maybe now people will forget that I couldn’t bring the 2016 Olympics to the United States,” the president probably said. “Also, it’s great to get the recognition because I was worried that I wasn’t really doing anything. Clearly, that can’t be true. They don’t just give these things out for political reasons to show predecessors just how much the international community didn’t like them.” (more…)
Zach Galifianakis Wants Pics of Your Tunts
Yup, Tunts. I’m not exactly sure what a Tunt is, but I do know Zach Galifianakis is definitely a Level-3 one of them. Another thing to consider is, you are or become a Tunt at the Jeffers Corporation, which, if you didn’t know, is “the largest and friendliest and most profitable corporation in the history of all mankind.”
Also, everyone at the Jeffers Corporation greets one another by flipping the bird, which seems to have spread like some sort of meme in New York and Los Angeles. This makes sense, since Zach is willing to meet you in one of these places if he’s really into pics of your Tunts.
Ready to send Zach pics? It’s for a contest, so make sure your Tunts are fetching. Here’s what’s going on: First, host a screening of Visioneers, a movie starring Zach, which comes out on DVD July 21. Second, take pictures of the audience, who, it seems, by virtue of viewing Visioneers, are now a bunch of Tunts, and so will you be among them. Third, send those Tunts to Zach, or whoever’s judging the contest. Finally, win, meet Zach in NYC or LA, and have him sign your beard, which you grew to win a consolation prize in case your Tunts did nothing for Zach and his people. (It’s probably better to go to the movie’s official website where they can officially tell you about the contest all nice and official-like.) (more…)
Issue-Having Michaels and the State of Things (TV)
Michael & Michael Have Issues, a headbirth of Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter (note that, so as to not get political, from now on I’ll refer to them as M&M because I can’t be sure which Michael comes first in the title, and I only mentioned Mr. Showalter after Mr. Black above for alphabetical reasons), is, simply put, an upcoming television show. Premiering on Comedy Central July 15 at 10:30 EST, the show is a sketch show about M&M making their own sketch show, according to a press release from Comedy Central. We’re in store for some meta-sketching, it seems. But not to worry—we may be in good hands.
The folks over at Punchline Magazine, a website that takes comedy seriously, had the good fortune of seeing the pilot. The show, according to Punchline, is “fucking hilarious” and suitable for those who got down on the idiosyncratic humor of Stella and also for newcomers unfamiliar with M&M but looking for something edgier than SNL.
Comedy Central has had mixed results with its original seasonal programming. Many shows, like Freak Show and Dog Bites Man (and Stella, for that matter), go unappreciated and don’t live to see a second season. Others, like Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist and Strangers with Candy, have a decent go at it. And still others, like South Park and Reno 911!, endure. (more…)
99 Days of Obama
On April 29, Barack Obama turns 100. Presidents sure do grow up fast. In many ways, the first 100 days are the most important time in a president’s career, perhaps due to the lopsided attention and arbitrary, question-begging importance bestowed upon them.
If you’re looking for 100-days coverage, you’re in the wrong place. Maybe Maury Povich is covering it, along with CNN, Fox, and Time. We at Owl and Bear would like to remember Obama in his double digits. 100 represents pre-millennial, base-ten, pre-hope/change thinking and is therefore hogwash. 99 is a progressive base-eleven-in-intervals-of-nine thought system, which is very now.
Plus, who knows what tomorrow may bring? (more…)
Mitchell Hurwitz Says, ‘Sit Down, Shut Up’ (TV)
Particle accelerators take things like protons and electrons, pack them into a device, and then launch the particles into an unwavering collision course with one another. Though this sounds like a lot of fun (like crash-testing cars), the goal is actual results, which the observers hope are significant and not a waste of time.
Television sets, the soon-to-be-obsolete kind with cathode ray tubes, are examples of particle accelerators, and the violence within these boxes results in programming, which the viewers hope is not a waste of time, having learned long ago to not expect significant results.
How to Hug Your Independent Record Store
“Indie record stores,” says Chrys Hansen of Modern Music, the Caribbean’s most visited record store, “are where you go when you first realize there’s a whole new world of music for you to explore.” The Internet notwithstanding as perhaps one’s first stop when searching out what the world has to offer musically, Hansen’s words ring sentimental and otherwise true.
Independent record stores, unlike the CD sections of Wal-Mart and Best Buy, often feature carefully procured selections of good popular music and local and alternative groups that are either too vulgar or not Hoobastank-y enough for other outlets. The quality of independent record stores is only enhanced by the personal touch offered by the staff.
Get Sum 41’s Greatest Hits Album For Free!
The legendary artistes of Sum 41 have a new fecal offering for the world, titled All the Good Shit. The best-of album contains fourteen tracks, compiling all of the Hot Topic punks’ hits to date, plus thirteen other songs.
But before you pre-order the album or start camping outside your local mall to pay 18 bucks for it, we at O&B have figured out a way for you to get the album for free. And, get this, it’s totally legal (we think).
Colbert in Stereo (TV)
Stephen Colbert is a decorated (cultural) war hero and champion of truthiness, having won multiple Emmy Awards, coined a Word of the Year, and had a delicious flavor of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream named after him. And now, the Apples in Stereo have done their part in honoring the praiseworthy Dr. Colbert (yes, it’s ”Dr.” He’s been awarded an honorary doctorate from Knox College).
The creators of “a mesmerizing series of heavenly, effects-drenched, pop milkshakes” have released the song “Stephen, Stephen” and, while the good citizens of Colbert Nation think this is a fine thing, they do seem a bit chagrined.
The possibility that the song could have been named after someone or something other than Stephen sadly reminds the nation that naming things after Mr. Colbert is not yet law and, as such, is not punishable by hilarious fraternity-style water-boarding or some other form of public shaming. (more…)
Happy Days for ‘Arrested Development’
Last night’s Academy Awards were in many ways predictable, rife with the pomp, circumstance, film montages that are supposed to recall the majesty of movies, awards for mostly unsurprising recipients, and almost-funny jokes that we’ve all come to expect. On a side note, one of the evening’s sole surprises was that Hugh Jackman proved to be a very competent master of ceremonies, perhaps, precisely because he is not a comedian with neutered material suitable for prime-time broadcasting. His lack of professional hilarity made it okay to laugh at any semblance of humor, and helped to numb—though not completely alleviate—the pain of Jon Stewart not being asked to host again.
But amidst all of the evening’s self-importance and manufactured magic, something quite wonderful did happen.
Black Heart Prog Session?
Hey, San Diegans, let’s level with one another. We all know that, on February 17th, indie prog-rockers …And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead are coming out with a new album, titled The Century of Self.
Some people (mostly their publicists) are saying it will send the band into the stratosphere, a place Trail of Dead is not unfamiliar with, thanks to 2002’s Source Tags & Codes. Others (perhaps privacists) think that it’ll keep them terrestrial and do little more than confirm that the band has indeed made a new record.
While those two sides wrangle, you can feast your greedy little ears on tracks 10 and 13, respectively, ”Insatiable One” and “Insatiable Two”—as well as the rest of the album—right here.
Comprising equal parts goodness and brevity, the songs evoke the musical stylings of black-hearted San Diego son Pall Jenkins and, moreover, are evidence that Trail of Dead’s new release will not be a complete waste of time, wherever it may put them.
He’s Good Enough, He’s Smart Enough, and, Gosh-(D-MN)-it, A Tiny Majority of People Like Him
In the end, the bespectacled buffoon Al Franken beat the John Kerry-caricature Norm Coleman by a paltry 225 votes, but, with over two months having passed since election night, the process took even longer than expected. Owl and Bear has an exclusive look into what happened.
Don’t Forget Your Roots, Jimmy
Gearing up for his NBC late-night premiere on March 2, 2009, Jimmy Fallon plans to release a series of behind-the-scenes Web-exclusive videos, the first of which aired (interneted?) last night.
We didn’t learn all that much about Jimmy or the show except that he’s excited, and perhaps humbled, to be occupying the recently vacated news studio that once housed Milton Berle and Johnny Carson, before the latter’s show moved to California. Also, in a passing moment before the video goes black, Fallon introduces the Roots as his Max Weinberg 7.
Keeping It In the Family, or The Death Throes of a Dynasty
Let’s think back to the primaries and recall how historic they were turning out to be. Democratic front runners Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were neck and neck in the primaries. Though it wasn’t clear who would take the nomination, we knew that we were in for an historic campaign either way.
Obama would of course overtake Clinton and became the first black Democratic presidential candidate, and by August we knew it was either McCain-Palin or Obama-Biden that would triumph. Perhaps there was a sense of relief, too, in what those two tickets had in common: neither had a Bush or a Clinton anywhere in sight.
Bush To ‘Refurbish’ Legacy Before Jan. 20
These must be sad, lonely days for George W. Bush. As a lame-duck president with his lowest-ever approval ratings, his thoughts about a legacy must be grim. There’s the war in Iraq, there’s the dismal economy, and there’s nothing on TV anymore.
Plus, the release of Oliver Stone’s biopic W. this fall couldn’t have helped the president’s self-esteem. (Though, it is rumored that Bush said this of Stone’s work: “He did a heck of a job.”)
Obama has already declared dibs on closing Guantanamo Bay and (when not proving that Michelle has his balls in a jar) he reiterated his intent to dismantle Gitmo on 60 Minutes, which received its highest viewership in recent memory.
It’s Over, Sarah
Hmm. How do I put this without sounding like I’m picking on the gal?
I’m sure you’ve heard that the mainstream media are giving Sarah Palin a hard time. There’s the NAFTA incident, but North America is a big continent and it’s hard to keep track of the whole thing. Also, cut our favorite hockey mom some slack on Africa: continent and country are both c-words, a fact I’m sure she can wrap her head around.
Sarah Palin Was Once (Mostly) Nonexistent
Ever wish you could travel back in time to see how our presidential and vice-presidential candidates were represented online—before they became household names? Well, thanks to Google, your wish has come true.
In celebration of its tenth year, the quintessential search engine now allows users to surf the Web like it’s January 2001. Plug in the individual names and you get the results circa 01/01. If this were golf, guess who’d be the big winner in terms of hits? Give up? It’s Sarah Palin.
Slacker Uprising
Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 failed in ousting the Bush administration from the White House in 2004. Slacker Uprising, the new film by Moore documenting the 2004 tour of the same name, gives him one more chance to proclaim, “Mission accomplished,” and be correct this time. (On a personal note, I don’t see how this film could fail in getting rid of Bush.)
Nine Oh Two One Oh No You Didn’t
Or, Keeping Up with the Walshes
If there’s anything the TV industry trusts, it’s precedent, which has brought us a parade of Judge Wapner impersonators, provided sixty-seven variations on CSI and Law and Order, and given Chevy Chase the opportunity to have a late-night talkshow. In other words, precedent is responsible for some of the great travesties in televisual history. Following suit, the new 90210 is monopolizing on the uberhip ’90s original Beverly Hills 90210 and it’s all about being up-to-date.*
Do Not Disturb
Airing on the illustrious FOX network, Do Not Disturb, at first blush, seems to get its name from the fact that it’s set in a hotel. But I discovered, too late, that it had been named by my TV Guide, warning me not to mess with this show because I wasn’t going to like what I saw.
With a chic New York City hotel as its backdrop, this half-hour sitcom centers a lot of its action in the bowels of a hotel, expelling awful things from its back-office mise-en-scène.
Burn After Reading
Ethan and Joel Coen put the audience in a privileged position with Burn After Reading. So much so, in fact, we feel that we are in cahoots with the Coen brothers.
This dark comedy oozes tragic irony, which the Sarcasm Society, if they can be believed, defines as the “form of irony [in which] the words and actions of the characters, unbeknownst to them, betray the real situation, which the spectators fully realize.” We know more than the characters and sit uncomfortably at times, and elatedly at others, as bits of information are misunderstood or imperceptibly slip by the characters in an intolerably cruel way.
Why America May Need Therapy Come November
The results of the 2004 presidential election gave us, among other things, a potentially reverse-engineered acronym.
PEST, or post-election selection trauma, refers to an overwhelming dissatisfaction with and denial of election results that causes some to seek therapy. In 2004, the vitriol with which some regarded the re-election of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney had become unmanageably consuming. That’s the rumor, at least. An Internet search for the condition yields conflicting results. Among the legitimate-looking news reports of therapists seeing patients are sources that point to PEST’s dubious origins.
