Poetic Memory: Judgement Day (List)

Photo credit: Riki Feldman

Everyone worth talking to agrees that Terminator 2: Judgment Day is one of the best action movies ever made. It can be no coincidence, then, that Oakland cinephile musicians Judgement Day chose the name they did. With rapid-fire drumming and laser battle synths, their music is the perfect soundtrack for your post-apocalyptic uprising against the evil machines.

Judgement Day are no strangers to action films. In fact, the string metal band spent years sifting through everything the genre has to offer, and have kindly compiled a list of the absolute worst for us.

You can check the band out live this Saturday, March 13th, at Soda Bar. They’ll be playing alongside The Burning of Rome, Battlehooch, and Boyscout in a special show curated by San Diego: Dialed In. It’s rare for San Diego: Dialed In to put together a show themselves, but the prospect of assembling such an action-packed lineup proved irresistible.

Now, without further ado, here are Judgement Day’s Top 5 Favorite Bad Action Movies of All Time…

With the unprecedented viral success of new D-grade films like The Room and Birdemic, the hottest new trend in film is becoming clear: BAD is in!

In the cloud of hype over new blockbusters, we have to be sure not to lose sight of the classics that started it all. They are as bad in the 80s Michael Jackson sense as they are in the literal sense, and they have been a very big influence on our music.

5. Rambo III: After single-handedly destroying an entire Soviet battalion, Rambo kills the extra-strong level-8 boss by spin-kicking him into a pit where he is hung by a noose and then explodes with the grenades on his belt.

4. Hard Target: It was hard to decide which Jean Claude Van Damme movie to list because they are all pretty awesomely bad, but in this one he has perhaps the most ridiculous Jheri curl mullet ever created. He also stands up with no hands on a speeding motorcycle and knocks out a rattlesnake by punching it in the head.

3. Bad Boys 2: Possibly Michael Bay’s most over-the-top (which is saying a lot; think The Rock, Pearl Harbor, Transformers). Just when the credits are ready to roll, a surprise kidnapping leads to an unnecessary extra 30 minutes of film, in which Will Smith and Martin Lawrence head to Cuba to take on an entire military force and inadvertently destroy an impoverished community with a Hummer.

2. Invasion USA: Chuck Norris vs. Soviet Terrorists in Florida. The movie ends on a freeze-frame of Chuck shooting a guy out the window of a skyscraper with a missile launcher.

1. Commando: The definitive Schwarzenegger film for any true fan. The body count is almost as high as the number of one-liners, which make up 95% of the dialogue.

Judgement Day tour dates
03/05 – San Francisco, CA – Space Gallery – Album Listening Party & Art Show
03/11 – Los Angeles, CA – The Smell
03/13 – San Diego, CA – The Soda Bar
03/14 – Tucson, AZ – Hang Art & The Red Room at Grill
03/15 – Las Cruces, NM – The Train Yard
03/20 – Austin, TX – Dominican Joe Coffee Shop – SXSW
03/22 – Tulsa, OK – Soundpony
03/23 – Fayetteville, AR – George’s Majestic
03/24 – Nashville, TN – TBA
03/26 – Washington, DC – TBA
03/27 – Philadelphia, PA – Danger Danger Gallery
03/29 – Allston, MA – O’Brien’s
03/30 – Brooklyn, NY – Union Pool
03/31 – Cleveland, OH – Beachland Tavern
04/02 – Indianapolis, IN – TBA
04/03 – Chicago, IL – Ronny’s
04/05 – Iowa City, IA – TBA
04/07 – Minneapolis, MN – The 400 Bar
04/08 – Omaha, NE – The Waiting Room
04/09 – Denver, CO – Blastomat!
04/10 – Salt Lake City, UT – TBA
04/11 – Reno, NV – TBA
04/16 – Santa Cruz, CA – The Crepe Place
04/17 – San Francisco, CA – Bottom of the Hill
04/20 – Olympia, WA – TBA
04/21 – Seattle, WA – The Comet Tavern
04/22 – Portland, OR – Plan B
04/23 – Salem, OR – The Ikebox
04/24 – Chico, CA – TBA
04/25 – Sacramento, CA – Luigi’s Fungarden

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